I didn’t think I needed therapy. I thought I’d already dealt with everything.
I’ve had counselling at different points in my life, mostly when something big or difficult was happening. It helped me through some really challenging seasons and I’ll always be grateful for that support. At the time, I saw therapy as something you turn to when life feels overwhelming, when you need steady ground beneath your feet again.
And then I trained to become a counsellor.
Part of that training involves having your own therapy. A lot of it. At first, I understood it as a requirement, something necessary to tick off.
But the more I’ve reflected on it, the more it makes complete sense. How can you sit alongside someone as they gently untangle their world if you’ve never truly taken the time to untangle your own?
Still, I remember walking into my first session as a trainee thinking, “I’ve dealt with all my major stuff. I’m just here because I have to be.”
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The Things We Think Don’t Matter
When I first started, I was reluctant to talk about my past. Not because I was hiding anything, but because I genuinely believed there wasn’t much to say. My childhood was 'fine'. Yes, my parents had split up, but I had filed that away as something I’d already dealt with. It didn’t feel relevant anymore.
In fact, I remember feeling slightly irritated when my therapist gently brought it up more than once. I couldn’t see why we needed to go there.
But therapy has a way of working at its own pace, quietly, patiently, without force.
It wasn’t a dramatic breakthrough or a single lightbulb moment. It was more like a slow dawning… until one day something clicked.
It felt like a jigsaw piece finally fitting into place. An odd feeling because I hadn’t even realised that piece was missing. But at the same time, it made complete sense. That moment stayed with me.
And from there, things began to shift.
Understanding Why We Are the Way We Are
You might recognise this…
For me, I began to notice patterns I had never really questioned before. I was always the one stepping in to help others. Volunteering for more. Taking on more than my fair share. Being the reliable one.
But underneath that, there was something else.
I’d feel irritated when others didn’t do as much.
Disappointed when a friend didn’t notice I needed support.
And sometimes, if I didn’t show up in that helpful way, I’d question whether I was good enough, or even worthy of their friendship.
I had never joined those dots before.
And therapy wasn’t about blaming my past, it was about understanding it.
Understanding where those patterns came from, why they made sense at one point in my life and why they no longer served me in the same way.
Small Changes, Big Impact
Once I began to understand myself differently, I also began to respond differently.
The changes haven’t been dramatic or outwardly obvious. There’s no big 'before and after' moment.
But internally, everything feels different.
I can say no now, without carrying guilt around for days afterwards.
I can notice when I’m overextending myself and gently pull back.
I no longer measure my worth by how much I do for others.
I feel calmer, more grounded and more at ease in myself.
Life hasn’t suddenly become perfect, but it has become lighter.
And that in itself is huge.
Therapy Isn’t Just for When Things Fall Apart
One of the biggest things I’ve taken from my own therapy journey is this: Counselling isn’t just about getting through crises. Yes, it’s incredibly valuable when things feel overwhelming or painful. But it’s also something much deeper than that. It’s a space to get to know yourself in a way most of us never have the opportunity to do.
To understand:
- Why you react the way you do
- Why certain relationships feel difficult
- Why some experiences stay with you longer than others
- What you need, even if you’ve never said it out loud
It’s about building a relationship with yourself that is more compassionate, more honest and more aware.
Why I Still Sit in the Other Chair
I’m now around 60 sessions in, and I still go.
Not because something is wrong, but because there is always more to understand, more to notice, more to gently explore.
Sitting in the other chair reminds me what it feels like to be a client, to be vulnerable, to be unsure, to slowly piece things together. It keeps me grounded in the process, both personally and professionally.
But more than that, I continue because it enriches my life.
------------------------------
If this feels familiar….
If you’ve ever thought, 'I* don’t really need counselling, nothing that bad has happened'* you’re not alone. I thought the same.
But therapy isn’t about how 'bad' things have been. It’s about how you experience your world, your relationships and yourself.
Sometimes the most powerful work happens not in the middle of a crisis, but in the quiet space of curiosity.
When you begin to ask:
- Why do I feel this way?
- Where did this pattern come from?
- What might change if I understood myself more deeply?
Counselling offers that space.
A space to reflect.
A space to understand.
A space to grow.
And often, the life we want isn’t about changing everything, it’s about finally understanding ourselves.
If any of this resonates, counselling might be a space worth exploring.