How I Work with Children and Young People: A Counsellor Working Across Kent and Surrey
Seeking counselling for a child or young person can feel like a big step. As a parent or carer, you may be worried about how they are feeling, unsure what support they need, or wondering whether counselling is right for them.
My aim is to provide a calm, welcoming and supportive environment where children and young people feel heard, understood and accepted, while parents and carers feel included and reassured about the counselling process.
Building a Therapeutic Relationship
The relationship between a child or young person and their counsellor is at the heart of therapy.
Some children and young people may begin talking openly from their very first session, while others may need more time to feel comfortable. Every child is different. I work at their pace, taking time to get to know them and build a genuine therapeutic relationship based on trust, acceptance and respect.
Confidentiality is a very important part of this relationship. Children and young people need to feel able to talk honestly about what is troubling them. Sometimes they may worry about what others might think, or experience feelings such as shame, guilt or embarrassment. They may also be struggling with experiences or emotions that they do not yet know how to put into words.
A child or young person may therefore communicate in many different ways and it is not always possible for them to immediately explain what they are feeling or what has happened. My role is to provide a safe, non-judgemental space where they can begin to explore and make sense of their experiences in a way that feels right for them.
Without a sense of trust and safety it can be much more difficult for a child or young person to share what is really bothering them. The boundaries of confidentiality, including its limits, are explained clearly as part of the counselling process. If there are concerns about a child's safety or safeguarding, these would always be acted upon appropriately.
Parents and carers also have an important role in supporting the counselling process. Children and young people are often more able to engage with counselling when the adults around them understand the importance of allowing them to develop their own trusting relationship with their counsellor.
Working with Parents and Carers
Parents and carers play an important role in supporting a child or young person through counselling. While the therapeutic relationship between the child and counsellor is central to the work, counselling is often most helpful when the adults around the child understand how they can support them outside of sessions.
I work collaboratively with parents and carers as part of the wider counselling process, while respecting the child's confidentiality and the trust that is essential to the therapeutic relationship. The level and nature of this involvement will depend on the individual child or young person, their age, developmental stage, needs and circumstances. This may include discussing general themes, areas of emotional development or strategies that may be helpful at home. Where appropriate, I may also suggest ways that parents and carers can support and reinforce the work being explored in sessions. For younger children in particular, this may include helping them practise new ways of understanding and managing their emotions outside the therapy room.
Where the child or young person is comfortable with this, I also offer review sessions with parents or carers during the counselling process. These provide an opportunity to discuss progress, consider ongoing needs and think together about how best to support the child.
The level of information shared will depend on the child's age and developmental stage, their wishes, the nature of the counselling and what has been agreed within the therapeutic relationship. I will always aim to be open with the child or young person about what information is being shared and why.
My aim is to create a balance where children and young people have a safe and trusted space that feels like their own, while parents and carers are appropriately supported and involved in helping them outside of sessions.
Therapy That Is Adapted to the Individual Child
Children and young people experience and communicate emotions differently depending on their age, personality, experiences and stage of development. Therapy therefore needs to be flexible and tailored to the individual, rather than expecting every child to communicate in the same way.
Some young people may find talking helpful and may benefit from more structured, CBT-informed approaches to explore the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Others may find it difficult to express themselves directly through words.
For younger children, or those who find talking difficult, creative and play-based approaches can provide alternative ways to communicate and explore their experiences.
Depending on the individual child or young person, I may use:
- Creative and expressive activities
- Sand tray work
- Puppets and role play
- Therapeutic games
- Drawing and storytelling
- Emotion cards and visual tools
- Mindfulness activities
- Outdoor therapeutic activities where appropriate
These approaches can provide meaningful ways for children and young people to explore emotions, relationships, worries and difficult experiences in ways that feel accessible and natural to them.
Every session is guided by the individual child or young person: their needs, personality, experiences, emotional development and what feels comfortable for them.
Areas I Can Support With
I have experience supporting children and young people with a range of emotional and psychological needs, including:
- Anxiety and worries
- Friendship and relationship difficulties
- School stress and exam pressure
- Low self-esteem and confidence
- Difficulties managing or regulating emotions
- Young carer responsibilities
- Family changes and separation
- Bereavement and loss
- Abuse and trauma
- Neurodiversity-related challenges
- Feeling overwhelmed or withdrawn
- Difficulty expressing or understanding emotions
A child does not need to have a specific diagnosis or clearly defined problem to benefit from counselling. Sometimes a child may simply be struggling with feelings or experiences that they do not yet have the words to explain.
My Experience
I am a Level 6 qualified counsellor and hold an enhanced DBS check. Alongside my private counselling practice, I currently work within a primary school setting and have experience supporting both younger children and older teenagers in different settings.
I have also worked within a counselling charity supporting children and young people with a wide range of emotional and wellbeing needs.
Alongside my counselling experience, I bring many years of professional experience working closely with children, young people, families and vulnerable adults in emotionally sensitive situations. This has developed my specialist skills in communication, relationship-building and helping people feel safe, listened to and understood, particularly when they may find it difficult to express themselves.
Creative and Therapeutic Resources
My therapy room includes a range of resources that may be used to support children and young people in expressing themselves and exploring their experiences.
These include:
- Sand tray resources
- Puppets and role-play materials
- Therapeutic games
- Emotion cards and visual tools
- Creative materials
- Mindfulness resources
The therapy room also has access to an outdoor area, which may be used therapeutically where appropriate.
Signs Your Child May Benefit from Counselling
Every child is different, but you may consider seeking additional emotional support if your child or young person is:
- Feeling anxious, worried or overwhelmed
- Struggling with friendships or relationships
- Showing changes in mood or behaviour
- Finding school or exams difficult to cope with
- Becoming withdrawn or unusually emotional
- Struggling with confidence or self-esteem
- Experiencing family changes, loss or other difficult life events
- Finding it difficult to express or manage their emotions
You do not need to have all the answers before seeking support. Sometimes providing a child with a safe space to explore what they are feeling can be an important first step.
Frequently Asked Questions for Parents
What happens at the first appointment?
The first session usually begins with the parent or carer present. We will discuss the counselling agreement, confidentiality, practical arrangements and initial assessment information.
Parents or carers of children under 18 will need to complete the relevant consent and counselling paperwork.
After this initial part of the session, I will usually ask the parent or carer to leave so that I can begin getting to know the child or young person directly and start building our therapeutic relationship.
Will you tell me what my child says in therapy?
Confidentiality is an important part of helping children and young people feel safe enough to talk openly and develop a trusting relationship with their counsellor.
I would not routinely share everything discussed during sessions. However, counselling is often most helpful when parents and carers are able to understand general areas of support and know how they can help their child outside of therapy.
Where appropriate, and with the child or young person's knowledge and agreement, I may share general themes, progress or suggestions for how parents and carers can support them at home. I also offer review sessions with parents or carers during the counselling process where appropriate and where this is something the child or young person is comfortable with.
The level of information shared will depend on the age and developmental stage of the child, their wishes, the nature of the counselling and what has been agreed within the therapeutic relationship.
The boundaries of confidentiality, including its limits and how information may be shared, will be explained fully as part of the counselling agreement. I aim to be open with children and young people about what information is being shared and why.
If I have concerns about a child's safety or safeguarding, these would be acted upon appropriately and discussed with the relevant people.
What if my child does not want to talk?
This is very common, particularly at the beginning of counselling.
Therapy does not rely solely on talking. Depending on the child's age and individual needs, creative activities, games, drawing, puppets, sand tray work and other approaches may help them communicate and explore their feelings in ways that feel more natural.
There is no expectation that a child must immediately talk about difficult experiences.
Can parents stay during the session?
In most cases, children and young people engage more openly when they have space to develop their own relationship with their counsellor.
Parents and carers are therefore usually asked to leave after the initial part of the first session. However, every child is different, and this can be discussed depending on their age, needs and circumstances.
The support of parents and carers remains important throughout the counselling process.
How will I know if therapy is helping?
Progress can be gradual and may look different for every child. You may notice changes such as:
- Improved emotional expression
- Increased confidence
- Better emotional regulation
- Reduced anxiety
- Improved relationships
- Greater understanding of feelings and experiences
Therapy can sometimes feel emotionally difficult before things begin to improve, particularly when painful experiences or emotions are being explored. This can be a natural part of the therapeutic process and is worked through carefully within sessions.
I aim to work collaboratively with parents and carers where appropriate, while balancing this with the child's confidentiality and emotional safety.
How long will therapy last?
Sessions are 50 minutes long and are usually held weekly where possible as consistency can help children and young people feel secure within the therapeutic relationship.
The overall length of therapy varies according to the individual child or young person's needs. Some may benefit from shorter-term, focused support while others may need longer-term counselling. Progress and ongoing needs can be reviewed throughout the process.
What ages do you work with?
I work with children and young people across a range of ages and developmental stages, including younger children, adolescents and older teenagers.
My experience includes school-based counselling, private practice and counselling within a charity setting.
What if my child is nervous about coming?
This is very common. Many children and young people feel uncertain about coming to their first session. I provide a calm, non-judgemental environment where they can settle at their own pace. There is no pressure to talk immediately and the sessions are adapted to the individual child or young person.
Do you work with neurodivergent children and young people?
Yes. I understand that neurodivergent children and young people may experience and communicate emotions differently.
Therapy is adapted to the individual, taking into account their communication style, sensory preferences, developmental stage and what helps them feel comfortable and able to engage.
Where do sessions take place?
Sessions take place in my private therapy room with access to an outdoor space where appropriate.
Parking is available on the driveway. As there is no separate waiting room, parents/carers are welcome to wait in their car during the session if they prefer.
Next Steps
If you are considering counselling for your child or young person you are welcome to contact me via the website contact form to arrange an initial telephone conversation. This gives us an opportunity to discuss your concerns, ask questions and consider together whether counselling may be the right support for your child at this time.